Grace Stamper: First time I got my period, Rock had to take me to Tai-Pei for Tampax. Then he had to show me how to use them.
Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
Grace Stamper: I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.
Dan: Well, our object collison budget's about a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and I beg your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.
Harry Stamper: I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just gonna take a foot off of him. A man can work with one foot.
General Kimsey: The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun.
Harry Stamper: Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I was coming home. Now I don't know WHAT you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here!
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
A.J.: Well cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, I mean well putting cheese on something is sort of a defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker. I don't know why I thought of that.
Grace Stamper: Baby, do you think its possible that there's someone doing this very same thing at this very same time?
A.J.: I hope so. Otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?
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