Ike Graham: Hey don't knock drunks in bars! It means they're not out driving.
Maggie Carpenter: You're a cynical, exploitive, mean-hearted creep who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit.
Ike Graham: I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life because I know in my heart you're the only one for me.
Maggie Carpenter: A girl can't get married in flannel!
Ike Graham: Hi leave a message after the beep. If you want to send me a fax then buy me a fax machine.
Maggie Carpenter: No! I want to destroy this man's life, career everything. I want revenge. Now on a sins scale how bad is that? Can I Hail Mary my way out of that?
Peggy: Calm down. The veil is not attacking you.
Maggie Carpenter: I love Eggs Benedict. I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
Maggie Carpenter: I love you Homer Eisenhower Graham. Will you marry me?
Cousin Cindy: Hi I'm Cindy, Maggie's unmarried cousin.
Ike Graham: Look! I think this man is heart broken!
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