Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Improving Self Confidence - you can if you think you can!

Improving self confidence is possibly the last thing we might be expecting to need do, when as children with such vivid imaginations, we could do so many things without batting an eyelid because no one had told us we couldn't. Then once we started believing we couldn't we applied it to so many different situations in our lives.

We all know just how creative young children can be. Right now, your fridge door may be a living example of this very fact. Whether or not they can draw, they do so and proudly bring home the fruits of their creativity.

That is until they get to an age when they are being told ‘they can’t and are wasting paper’and their confidence starts to take a dip. UK cartoonist and trainer in visual thinking, Martin Shovel exploits this and turns it to good advantage in the work he does within his adult students, improving self confidence and in reawakening their creativity.

I remember a number of years ago (long before I knew anything about the theory or Paul McKenna techniques), my daughter Criona was having a difficult time studying for an exam. She was sure she was going to fail. No doubt you’ve been there.

Once you find one reason for failing you can so easily come up with so many others, then it’s a kind of downward spiral. On this occasion, just before the floods of tears, I asked her to recall how she felt the previous term, when she won the cup for her outstanding performance in history.

“Fantastic”, she said. “How would you like to get that feeling again”, I responded.

Criona was able to visualise her previous success and then imagine it as a future success. Her mind was unable to make that time differentiation, so suddenly she was able to adopt a new more positive state of mind.That's improving self confidence at the "flick of a switch".

If you believe you can do something or you believe you can’t – you are right. Tell yourself you can do something and you open up the neurological pathways that can provide you with the resources for achievement.Suddenly you gain self confidence!

Why not Write down some ‘can do’ beliefs and place them by the bathroom mirror?

For example:

  • I am as good as anyone else
  • I always give my best
  • I focus on what I want, learn from my mistakes and let go
  • I have amazing gifts to share with the world

Then just repeat them to yourself every morning and evening.

Here are some other ideas you might like to try. Just note your improvement in self confidence:

Walk tall

The down-and-out shuffle along, low in self confidence.Walk upright with a spring in your step. You’ll be telling both yourself and the world that you’ve important things to do. More so, you’ll succeed in doing them. When you catch yourself slouching, just imagine that your head is being supported by a wire, just like a puppet’s and stand upright. There's a lot more to body language than you might think! Adopt a new belief

Think of a belief you’d like to own and imagine what having it will enable you to achieve. On a daily basis, act as if the new belief were true (even if it feels artificial). You’ll be reprogramming your brain in the new positive perspective.For instance if you were looking for a promotion at work,then act as if you’ve already got the job (they say - fake it til you make it!!).

Have faith in your own abilities

Checkout the detail. Sound out others about your interpretation and understanding – they’ll be flattered at being asked. Use your strengths and style to your advantage in supporting your position.

Look at what you’ve already achieved

Relive your life so far and compile a notebook listing all your all achievements. Write them down. Flicking through the pages of this book will work wonders in helping to boost your confidence. Spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had.

Beat self consciousness

If you should feel self conscious or be consumed with shyness in a social situation,turn your attention to others. Ask them questions, show interest and make them feel comfortable. It’s more difficult to be self conscious if you are occupied. And taking an interest in others has the peculiar effect of boosting your own confidence – as well as theirs!

Stop procrastinating!

If you have an idea, then do something about it. Action will help conquer fear and can be a really smart way of improving self confidence. Decisive action feeds and strengthens confidence.

Don’t try to go it alone

If you need improving self confidence on an ongoing basis, ask a compassionate friend to help guide you. There’s a fine line between being pushed and being guided. Make sure you choose the right person.

Ask questions

You’ll be less likely to react, panic or lose control.Asking questions, gives you time to think. It buys you breathing space –apart from finding out the truth.You’ll be (and feel) better equipped to respond logically and calmly.


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